Closer Than a Brother

The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you;

He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Deuteronomy 31:8

I was shopping at our new outlet mall when I saw her walking in my direction. I looked the other way and I'm not sure if she even noticed me. I was right in her line of sight, so there's a good chance she spotted me. If she did, she didn't come up to me and say hi. I didn't either, but there's a good reason... when I was 19 years old she rejected me. She was one of my best friends, but dropped me like a bad habit. She thought I was a loser.

I wish I could say that six years later it doesn't sting anymore. Usually it doesn't. When we cross paths, it does. The worst part is this puppy dog trait in me that wants to go up to her with my tail wagging and say, "Hi, how have you been? I'm a mom now - see, here's my son. I've changed. I've grown. I'm different. By the way, I miss you." I can't say that. No, that would be setting myself up for more pain. She cast that first stone long ago, and never looked back.

Unfortunately, she wasn't the first or the last person to hurt me. And in some weird twist of fate, a few of my "ex" friends have now become friends themselves. Isn't that something? Sometimes I'm not sure how to process it, so I try not to think about it. It is like heaping salt in wounds that are trying desperately to heal.

I still wish that things could be different. I'm an optimist, and it is hard for me to take the knowledge that some relationships are just downright unhealthy. Some people won't allow you to change and to grow. Once they've judged you, they look at you that way forever. And some people will be heartless, even though they are sisters and brothers in Christ. After all, they aren't perfect.

Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet;
but one thing I do:
forgetting what lies behind
and reaching forward to what lies ahead,

I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13-14

Part of me is glad that those relationships went defunct. God used those circumstances for my good, to draw me to Him. With each hurt, I have matured as a person, and as a friend. Now, if a friend hurts my feelings, I immediately run to Him. He knows the pain of rejection and knows just how to comfort me. He is the Ultimate Best Friend, and the Perfect Gentleman. He will never have to apologize to me, because He will never ever hurt me. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He forgives my many shortcomings. He knew all my faults, and still gave His life in exchange for mine. Thank you Jesus. You're incredible.

A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24

Song of the hour: Rascal Flatts, "I'm Movin' On"