Every Encumbrance

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us,
let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us,
and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.
Hebrews 12:1

Okay, so this isn't the keeping my eyes on Jesus post that I mentioned in my last entry. Sorry, you'll have to wait for that. Today I've had another topic in mind - encumbrances. Last October I surrendered my heart to the Lord. I know that may sound weird if you've read my previous posts, since I gave my life to the Lord when I was nine. Thing is, somewhere along the way I took it back.

I'm currently reading, "The Jesus Style" by Gayle Erwin. In the forward, Richard Halverson, former Chaplain to the US Senate, said that many of us have invented rationalizations "which allow us to profess to be Jesus' disciples while at the same time giving Him half-hearted, partial obedience." As painful as this is to write, that statement explained who I was to a "t". Of course, I didn't realize it. I was blind to the fact that I wanted to control my life, though I desperately wanted to be closer to my Savior. So I tried to bend His Truth to my ways and it simply didn't work. I wasn't obeying or abiding.

I was lost and searching for answers that were right there all along. Thankfully, my Lord was merciful to me. He patiently and lovingly wooed me back to Himself. On a desperate night in October (about a year after I posted that "Jesus Take the Wheel" song) I gave Him control of my life. In losing my life, I found it. I was lukewarm, and now nothing but blazing fire will do.

Sadly, all those years I could have been investing my treasure in heaven I was trying to fill my heart with the "treasure" on earth. I became an emotional shopper and a bit of a clutter-bug. Which brings me to today. The Lord has changed me (my husband, marriage and family too!) so much that I'm not the person I was even yesterday. 2Corinthians 3:12-18

I look around my house and the word "encumbrance" pops into my head. I've got all this stuff crammed into closets, cupboards, containers, corners... under beds. It's like having a constant physical reminder of my former soul sickness. My husband and I look at our home and feel it doesn't reflect who we are anymore. In "The Jesus Style", Erwin writes, "If I am but a pilgrim and stranger in this world, I do not need to hold on to anything that would guarantee my success in it, not my reputation, and not my possessions either."

It's time to simplify. I'm tired of hiding. I want to feel as free in my home as I feel in my heart. I want this home God has provided to feel like a sanctuary to others - to have an open door policy. Today I made a huge stride by letting a dear friend see into every nook and cranny of my home. After she got over her shock (kidding... I think) she offered to help carry my burden. It was very humbling and it made me realize how much pride I had stashed along with the unnecessary clutter. I didn't want to accept help because it was my burden - my problem, not hers. She insisted that I needed help though, and I conceded as my pride broke down into tears.

How easy it is to let issues go undealt with until they overwhelm us. I always thought I was keeping things for the next baby or because "someone might need it". In reality, who knows if there will even be a next baby, and how much good is this stuff doing anyone tucked away in the recesses of my house? I need to take the time to give this stuff away and trust that God will provide all my future needs. It's time to lay aside every encumbrance and be free to run the race He's set before me.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.
Psalm 139:23-24

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This post just reminded me of a little book I read back in the day, 18 years ago. It's called "My Heart, Christ's Home" by Robert Boyd Munger. I read it again not long ago, in a different light this time. If you've never read it, I found this copy online for you. Enjoy!